Guide for Mentees: How to Build a Great Mentoring Relationship

A mentor is someone with more experience who gives some of their time to help you grow. A good mentoring relationship can help you make better career choices, avoid common mistakes and build confidence. Most of what makes it work depends on you, the mentee. This guide explains how to start well and keep it useful for both of you.

Before your first meeting

Spend some time thinking about what you want help with. Prepare short answers to these questions:

• What am I studying or working on now?
• Where would I like to be in one or two years?
• What is the one thing I am finding hardest at the moment?

Agree how you will work together

In your first meeting, agree on the practical details: how often you will meet, for how long, and how you will stay in touch between meetings. Ask your mentor how they prefer to be contacted and how quickly they usually reply. Write these agreements down so you both remember them.

Come prepared every time

Your mentor's time is valuable. Send a short message before each meeting with what you would like to discuss, and bring any work you want feedback on. During the meeting, take notes. Afterwards, send a brief thank-you with the one or two actions you have agreed to take.

Be honest about what is difficult

Mentors can only help with problems they know about. If you are struggling with a course, unsure about a career path or nervous about an interview, say so. A good mentor will not judge you for it. They have usually faced something similar themselves.

Follow through

The most important part of mentoring happens between meetings. If you agreed to update your CV, apply for an opportunity or practise a skill, do it, and tell your mentor how it went. Following through shows you take their help seriously, and it makes them more willing to keep investing in you.

Respect boundaries

Keep your relationship professional. Meet in appropriate places, respect your mentor's time, and do not share private information about them with others. If anything in the relationship makes you uncomfortable, speak to your programme coordinator.

When it comes to an end

Many mentoring relationships last for a set period. Near the end, look back together at what has changed since you started. Thank your mentor for their time, and ask if you may stay in touch. One day, you may be the mentor someone else needs.